Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Today was just not a good day.  I can't even imagine a world where my mom is not living.  It's a very odd concept.  When Dad died in 2001, it was sudden.  This is the WORST, I mean the WORST way to die, in my opinion.  It is torture, but physically and mentally, and it affects not only the patient, but the extended family as well.  I've also figured out that even if I ignore the pain, and "forget," my stomach doesn't.  Neither do my nerves, or muscles.  I have never been so tense in my life.  I'd like to ask my husband to massage it, because I know he would, but it wouldn't help.  I think I'm going to need some therapy before long.

Mom seems to be getting more and more tired and weak each day.  I'm not exactly sure she's going to even make it to chemo, which she has decided to try.  She has the option of 3 weeks of IV, once a week, or a pill every day for 2 weeks.  Personally, I'd take the pill, but she wants the IV.  Again, we will see.

Aunt Elaine is here and visits Mom for a few hours each day.  Mom won't let her stay too long.  I don''t know how I feel about that.

I've been looking into Hospice and Palliative Care.  These two sound promising: Seasons and Texas Hospice.

I'm going to check them out.  When I have time.  Sigh. 


  1. Christina Strieder SmithAugust 9, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    I think it's great to let your mom make decisions even if it's not what you think is best. She needs to feel in control of something. Hospice will be a great help and support. Hope you find the right one soon. Praying...


  2. Thank you Christina. I agree with that. She's still very sharp. Thanks!

  3. I know this has to be incredibly hard on your Mom, you, and like you said...the entire family. I'm praying God gives you the strength to get through each day. So many difficult decisions your Mom is having to make. Sounds like you are being very supportive of her choices, but that doesn't surprise me. You have always been there for your family.
    Trisha Solby