Wednesday, July 27, 2011

One Step Forward, Two steps back....

Yesterday, Mom got a call from her surgeon.  The results were not what we expected.  Evidently, when she had her gallbladder removed about 5 years ago, some staples that were left inside her hadn't dissolved, so they were irritating her bile duct.  According to her surgeon,this may be what caused the big mass in her bile duct. He said he didn't get a conclusive reading from the biopsy last Monday.  He said he was "confused."  However, he did let her know that her blood work shows that she does have cancer of the bile duct and/or pancreas.  SO...on Monday, August 1st, he is going BACK in and looking at her pancreas.  Sigh. Why didn't you take a look-see when you were in there before?   Bless her heart...this is too much. Even a healthy person couldn't endure many more exploratory surgery this close!  She seems to be in better spirits, but today she said she was really tired.  I want to tell her that it's probably the cancer, but I just can't say that.  All of a sudden, I feel myself giving her false hope.  It's easy to sit and think, "No, she's going to know the truth, and we are going to be truthful AT ALL TIMES."  But when I sit with her, look into her eyes, and see that inkling of the slightest of hope, I just...have to hope for miracles with her.  She knows she has cancer.  She knows there are a lot of things wrong with her, but if she wants to believe there is a remote chance that it's curable, I'm gonna let her.   <3

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