I have imported all of the information in this blog to my new blog (click the word).  Come visit me!

My Becktacular Life


Becky

A Year Without You

Dear Mom,

It has been a year today since we lost you.  I'd love to say a lot has changed, but it hasn't.  Not one day has gone by, that I haven't thought about calling you to tell or ask you something.  The kids are older...they are all teenagers now.  Each one of them has a problem speaking about you without a tear. 

I've tried to be strong.  For the most part, I think I've done ok.  I just kind of went back to work and acted like normal, since that's what I do.  I don't regret that. 

What I miss the most is parental guidance.  Since Dad was gone almost 11 years ago now, and it's been a year since I've lost you, I have no more parents.  It's hard when I need to share something I know you know all about.  Or share something that you know is typical, or not so typical, Becky, and you know just what to say. 

Sigh, I love you, Mom.  I know you are up there.  Don't know what I believe about heaven or God, but I know you are with me in spirit always. 

Love you Always,

Becky

A Year

It's been a year last week since Mom first found out she had terminal Cholagiocarcinoma.  4 months later, she was gone.  This year went by so incredibly fast, I'm just amazed.  And sad.  The hardest part since her death is plainly and simply...she's not here.  When we traveled, or when the kids did something special, I really had no one I could share the pictures with.  I have so much I want to tell her, but I can't.  There's no one in this world who has the bond that she and I had.  It's just so hard not having EITHER parent alive.  Nobody who just...knows.   I have learned to nurture my relationship with my own daughter and my two boys.  I feel confident that when it's my time to go, they will take care of me, and each other. 

If I Had Only Known
by Reba McIntire

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a life line to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known

Again, thanks...

Thank you to all of you who travelled this journey with me. My mom has been memorialized, and now the healing can begin. You have all been so kind to me. Hugs and love to you all. If you need to contact me in the future, please feel free. I love to hear stories about my mom from dear friends. You can also contact me by email at bepelfrey at gmail dot com (form into email address).

Hugs and love to you all!

Becky

Kathy's Memorial Service

My mother's Memorial service will be held at 7:00pm, Monday,
November 21st at Lucas Funeral Home, 700 Wall Street, Grapevine, TX.

The Dance

To all my sweet friends who have joined me on this journey; my sweet mother passed away peacefully in her sleep, holding hands with my sister, niece and me at 6:37 pm this evening.  We are all at peace now, and she is no longer in pain.

Coincidentally, Mom died on November 17th, the same date that she lost her own mother, 24 years ago.

The Dance, by Garth Brooks
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

Her time is near, my friends. We are at her bedside, and telling her it's time to go, when shes ready.